Hold Your Breath
by RosaLeeMullins
Summary: Lauren Mallory's take on the Cullen family when they first come to Forks, Washington. Pre-Twilight.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: The wonderful Twilight Series belong to Stephenie Meyer!

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**A/N**: Hope you enjoy Lauren Mallory's POV. If you wouldn't mind, please leave a comment! Thanks! Cheers~

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The nighttime sky was dark and severe. The tips and shadows of threatening raindrops were invisible, but the air was moist and humid. Unfavorable to my tastes, I slid the window shut and relaxed against the windowsill, staring at anything that stirred this quiet town.

City lights blinked miles away in my mind, but here in my room I only saw the dark forests and lanterns on the street, which were also dimly-lit.

It was quiet here in my room. In my house no sounds were audible – everyone had rushed to end the evening early.

Havoc disrupted my mind and it kept me up this night. I never dared to have company when in my current state. I could feel the bursting emotions profoundly break free from my built up barriers, crawling through the gel-like substance used to fortify them, easing their way to the forefront of my mind. When the emotions arrived I hastened to pause all intelligent thoughts, and I didn't have enough strength to withhold them, so I let them freely overcome me.

The murderous thoughts wrapped around as vines on my skin, twirling and swirling around my conscience. It only took half a second for me to fall under the influence of the images that swell an impression I was too weak to fight off.

I drowned in pools of haunting images of envy and jealousy – the only images that are known to me.

The Cullens and Hales aren't exactly what I presumed for them to be. But then again, they are exactly what I should have expected – only those who wish not for social lives, but for privacy and secrecy would move to such an isolated city, such as Forks.

But to be rejected from such a stunning group of people, I never thought I would come to see the day in which the emotions of loneliness and rejection would spit through my veins as if rejection were my blood.

It was disgusting, really. The Cullens and Hales were disgusting. Whatever made them so mesmerizing, I wished to find an end to. I deserved the attention, not them.

The ring of my phone chimed in the air, but it pounded an annoying force in my ears. I hated to predict who would be calling me now – Jessica, probably.

I paused for two seconds, debating on whether or not I should put up a nice, fake front, or if I should let her know I was in no mood to speak to anybody – I went with the latter.

"What, Jessica?" I spat through the phone.

Sure enough, she seemed taken aback in that split second in which I could hear her short gasp.

I knew she wanted to talk about that charming Edward Cullen, but I hated to think about any of them at this instant.

"Hey Lauren, what's up?" she replied.

I originally thought she could feel my icy voice clearly, but it seemed as if she thought she could cure my current disposition.

"I'm doing homework," I lied.

I wished she would hurry up and send whatever gossip she had over so I could have as much time as possible to purge my mind afterwards. Listening to Jessica's gossip, you'd think she deserved to be a celebrity paparazzo. But aside from that, there was nothing particularly fascinating about her, just a very shallow girl with a very shallow mind. Like the Cullens and Hales.

"Oh," she replied shortly. "Well, I actually have some news on the Cullens!"

I moaned involuntarily, and got up off of the sill and sunk onto my bed. This phone call was going to be more dangerous and irritating than I had originally thought.

"What do you have," I said almost painstakingly rudely, but apathetic nonetheless.

"Well, I asked Edward Cullen if he wanted to go to Port Angeles this weekend, but he told me he was going hunting with his brothers. Can you believe that, Lauren? Apparently, he loves hunting!"

"How do you know he loves hunting? It's only for one weekend – it's not like he devotes his life to it," I retorted.

In a way, as much as the new students detested me, I could never do as much damage to them as Jessica could. And even Jessica managed to speak to Edward – according to her, that is. Who knew if they really did have a successful conversation – though, I would still hate his family's presence in Forks.

"So have you spoken to that hot, blond boy yet? I hear his name is Jasper," she fawned.

For her, almost nothing wasn't 'I hear'.

I hear this, I hear that; I hear Jessica has no eyes to see that Edward Cullen is grossed out by her; I hear Jessica dwells in her fantasies too much, wishing hopelessly that she will go to Homecoming with him.

It grossed me out, too.

But to be reminded of my own injury, that wasn't fair.

I had never seen a boy as beautiful as Jasper Hale. His blond, golden hair streaked back as if windblown; the perfect curvature of his cheeks on his glorious face; and to top that off with a cherry, his thin lips I wanted so much to be sealed with mine. All of that desire and want! Just to see him wrap his arms around that small, spunky dark-haired Alice! I knew her name. I had also known his name. I knew all of their names! I knew everything about them!

And even then, I hoped with whatever sympathetic demons I had in my soul that he wouldn't seriously be dating his own sister! And the demons were friendly – for about five seconds.

Right before they entered the school, he leaned down and pressed his beautiful lips to hers – I had been too horrified to watch the rest; I rushed to clear my mind and get to class.

Afterward, throughout the day, I received looks of fury from the blonde, Rosalie. And that giant of a dark-haired boy looked at me as if I needed remorse – but I didn't want that! Especially not from him! I didn't want remorse from anybody!

"Well have you spoken to him?" Jessica pestered.

I had forgotten she was there. The phone slipped through my hand as the outburst of her voice shook me from my reverie, and I hesitated, yet once again, with what to tell her.

I thought about lying to her – you know get creative as she always does to everyone else. But then I decided that the Cullens were not people that would ever associate with somebody like me. I knew that dead on. And however difficult it was for me to accept it, I somehow mysteriously with some divine intervention, managed to.

And I would play this game my way – the offensive side.

"You know, the Cullens are actually very disgusting, if you look at this dynamically. I mean, they're suffering from inbreeding," I crowed to boost my confidence.

It would be easy to take the Cullens down – I was playing on my home turf. I owned Forks High School.

"What are you talking about, Lauren?" Jessica said unsurely.

"I saw Jasper and Alice making out on the school campus. They're living in the same house. It's almost as if you were making out with your brother. How disgusting is that?"

Good enough.

For now.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Twilight and its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer!

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**A/N:** I swear, I am not this mean in real life. I wrote this chapter against my will after entering the world of Gossip Girl, so blame them. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to continue in this fashion. Leave me a reply; they are great.

xoxo, RLM.

lol

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This morning I rose with the sun. Its shining rays poured through my bedroom window, exciting my nerves, expelling through my mind a rare anesthetic that washed away last night's troubles. Minutes into the morning and I sat on the sill again, letting the unusual sunlight seep through my veins.

"Good morning, Lauren," my dear father spoke, as he peaked through my bedroom door.

"Morning, dad," I replied, my conscience only half present.

"How is my favorite freshman doing?" he asked bombastically, crossing the room to lean against the wall beside my window.

The idea of being a freshman wasn't a problem for me – I fit in at Forks High respectively. It was the Cullens and Hales who did not. I groped my mind with this early blunder, silently cursing to myself for deluding myself with thoughts of the creepy family so soon in my marvelous morning.

"Everything is wonderful, dad!" I exclaimed, flashing him a brilliant smile.

"That's my girl," he replied, landing a brusque kiss on my forehead, and then walked out of my room, seeking his morning coffee downstairs.

I felt uptight in an odd way, yet I somehow felt a compulsion that today would serve me well. I couldn't give up now. I had yet to have 179 more days of school to prove my worth to Forks High School – prove to them that I was better than those new kids.

I walked somberly into the double doors of the school after my dad dropped me off and ambled curiously through the hallway, looking for any signs of gossip floating around the school. There was none – yet.

I found a comfortable crowd to stand with, a crowd consisting of a very extraordinary Jessica with extraordinary make-up on this fair morning, and young juvenile boys who decided to dress up extra nicely, I bet, was for the attention of Alice Cullen and Rosalie Hale. Why, oh why, I grumbled to myself. This morning was going to hell so fast – oh, so very fast!

"Lauren! hey girl!" Jessica beamed as I came up to her.

"Good morning," I replied with my lips pursed. "What's the occasion?" I mocked her.

Her expression sank and her cheeks pumped up with my remark. She looked at me in disdain as if disappointed by my sour behavior. I only looked away un-knowingly, listening in for any news of the new kids.

Rochelle and Amber, two juniors stood beside Jessica, and I listened in to what they were saying.

"Do you know what I heard? I heard that Jasper Hale and Alice Cullen made out in between all of their classes yesterday!" Rochelle boasted.

I smirked zealously, for once proud of myself for accomplishing my mission. It didn't even take that long for my serious words to reach Jessica's ears, and then be preached throughout the town in one single night. It was amazing how quickly news traveled – astonishing, in fact.

"No way! He can't seriously make out with his sister! That is so disgusting! Eww! He is so handsome! You have to be kidding," Amber replied, shuddering deeply as she took the facts in.

Only, they weren't facts, but rather twisted observations on my part.

"Well, I'm not. This family is utterly weird, don't you agree? I mean, they are gorgeous! They really are! But they act as if we're inferior to them. They don't have any right to come to our town and act as if they own!" Rochelle replied.

Finally! Somebody who agreed with me!

I walked to class hopefully, an emotion that didn't exist yesterday. There was hope for me this year. The rumors would spread so quickly, the new kids wouldn't stop them in time. But in time, they never even showed up. First period passed and none of them showed up. It came to me in a horrific yet pleasing thought that maybe they had decided to move away. It served them right! Maybe they really did know what was best for them after all… smart kids. My father was right… they were smart kids.

It was rather disappointing that it took five periods to pass for the boys to finally notice my new plaid skirt. Tyler commented on it when I walked into English class, and then people finally began to look at me! I was disappointed it should take them over half of the day, but I guessed it was better late than never… though, it was discouraging still. I hated to think the boys were still drooling over Rosalie Hale's outfit yesterday. No doubt, she spent three hours preparing for a seven hour school day, just for the sort of shallow attention she sought after. For me, everything was natural. I never had to spend three hours flipping my hair in the morning, as Jessica probably did this morning.

And to think of Jessica, oh, poor Jessica! She prepared so much for her handsome Edward Cullen, and he doesn't even bother to show up. And in a disgusting way, she deserved it. There wasn't anything special about any of those new kids. They were only here to flash for one day, but now that they were gone… that put me in control.

"Hello, Tyler," I said smugly, taking a stand beside him in the cafeteria during lunch.

"How is your day?" he asked in a trance.

"Hmm, it is definitely fabulous!" I exclaimed.

"That's good," was his short reply.

I walked away disdainfully and met Jessica who stood in the lunch line, speaking to Rochelle and Amber again, discussing various topics concerning the infamous group of people I had had enough to do with.

"What? Are you missing your dear friend, Mr. Edward Cullen?" I gloated to Jessica. "Is there really a need to put that much make-up on, Jess?"

"Looking nice, matters to some people, Lauren. I'm sure you would understand, wouldn't you?" she replied.

"What does that mean?" I asked sternly.

She digressed immediately, "You haven't spoken to Jasper Hale yet, I hear?"

I looked down at her apprehensively, and said rather loudly, "And how is your relationship with Edward Cullen? Is it blooming as slowly today as it did yesterday?"

"At least I spoke to him, Lauren," she tried indignantly.

"Be careful, sweetheart. Most people don't believe that. Anyway, Edward Cullen has no interests in you whatsoever. He didn't even bother to show up today."

"And neither did Jasper Hale."

"I told you already," I said, "I have no interests in him. Not anymore. It was fun for the two minutes it lasted. I'm sorry you're still dazzled by Edward. Besides, there are better looking men out there for me."

And as for you, I wanted to tell her, but decided not to. I knew when to stop speaking.

I flipped my hair and stood up straight to appear more dignified.

"Lauren, quit the trash. Besides, they probably went hunting earlier than expected," she tried.

Together, intensely, we walked to a table and sat down beside some boys, behaving now that we were in their presence. It was amazing how that happened, actually. We fought like hell with each other, but when around boys, drama instantly ceased.

I couldn't help but address Mike Newton sarcastically: "You look handsome today."

He blushed, his cheeks filling with crimson blood that gave away his utmost purpose.

Tyler approached me roughly at the end of lunch. His face was blank, but I knew he had something on his mind.

"You don't have to be so jealous, Lauren," he accused me.

"What makes you think I am jealous?" I said dastardly, arching an eyebrow potently to hide any signs of that jealousy I knew was oh, so very present today.

"Just because your Romeo has fled the scene rather early, doesn't give you any right to rack down the others."

I stared at him angrily. How dare him!

"Unlike everybody here, I am not groveling over the Cullens and Hales!" I said with a stiff, but unsteady tone.

"Keep it down, Lauren. Don't give them a reason to think otherwise," he warned.

Hopelessly, I replied, "They already have a reason to believe so."

"And what is that reason?" he asked curiously.

"I'm the one that spread the rumors about Jasper and Alice making out," I confessed.

"What? Do you mean that they didn't make out?"

"They only kissed. It was a peck on the cheek, probably wishing each other luck for the day, but I changed it, thinking that there was more, only there wasn't."

"Because you were jealous?" he scoffed. "Lauren, they were on campus for two minutes! It took two minutes for your jealousy to reach its peak? That is unbelievable!"

"What is believable, really?" I said somberly.

"Certainly not you," he scathed.

"I had to, Tyler!"

"Oh really? That's quite difficult to believe, don't you think?"

"Rosalie!" I began, and then muttered under my breath, "that whore," knowing nobody thought of her that way except me, "she kept on glaring at me all day! What was I supposed to do? Let it go? Most certainly not!"

"What made her glare at you all day? She seamed pleasant to me," he replied nonchalantly.

"That's because you're a guy! She wants your attention."

"No, I don't think so. She seemed down right occupied with her own boyfriend."

"And who is that?" I asked.

I couldn't believe she already hooked up with one of the guys in the school on her first day in this town and at this school. This was completely and utterly unfair.

"You wouldn't believe me," he replied.

"Really?" I breathed tryingly.

"I told you already – you won't believe me."

"Tell me, Tyler," I begged.

"Well, tell me this – do you really like Jasper Hale?"

His question caught me off guard. I hadn't wanted to admit to anybody except myself that I truly did like him – or more than like than I cared to admit. There was a certain atmosphere to him that I cherished in the seconds that I experienced it. It was a certain confidence, a boldness contrasting with a reluctant attitude he had. He wasn't one to be outgoing, but rather private, and he had a sense of secrecy, a sense of purpose in the things he did, the way he acted. I wished he would have spoken to me. I wished he would have introduced himself, rather than clan around his family all day. I missed the opportunity to speak to him.

"Is he coming back? Will he come back for me? Or is he really dating his adopted sister?"

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